Having a tough time these days without my brother

I’m having a really tough time these days. My mental health has been deteriorating because I am running out of ways to stay distracted. It’s been 2 and a half years since you died and I haven’t even began to comprehend it. I just didn’t have time to grieve, so I didn’t and every time I would think of you, it would lead to a weird experience where I think “huh? he can’t be dead. How in the world could he be dead? And before I send myself into a panic attack, I just go on Instagram to distract myself. Life is really f***** hard and I just don’t know what to do anymore. God said that if he took something from me, he would give me something to fill the hole in return. How could he replace my brother??? Nothing could ever compensate for the way I feel.

2 thoughts on “Having a tough time these days without my brother

  1. Lily, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved brother. Please know that how you are feeling is normal. Losing a sibling to suicide is devastating, confusing, painful, and a lot of other emotions that are hard to express. Continue to reach out for help. There are amazing support groups and hotlines through the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): https://afsp.org/get-help. Please call or attend a meeting. Your brother would want you to. Live your life to honor him. Please reach out to us as well if you would like additional resources. You are in our thoughts.

  2. I can relate to this. But my brother just died July 2, 2020. I think I am still in shock and the pain is there but I have not accepted he is gone and I won’t see him again. I am going to see a grief counselor because I feel like a total mental breakdown is on the horizon. I am terrified of this reality.

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