Guilty (SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post)

It’s not an exaggeration. She died because of me.
I still can’t forgive myself six years later. You died because of me. We were the same person but you knew I couldn’t take care of us both so you made the decision for us. The rest of our siblings blame me. Our parents blame me. I blame me. I miss you so much and I can’t move on. I work to forget this pain, but when I am in my own life all I can do is miss you. I am not depressed or lonely I am alone and I haven’t found anything like the love we had. I can not build any relationships because to others my pain is ugly. I miss you. I’m sorry for driving you away little sister. I’m sorry for not taking care of you.

2 thoughts on “Guilty (SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post)

  1. Don’t blame yourself. Some decisions our way out of our hands. My brother also killed himself in Nov. He was suffering with mental illness. 2017 was a roller coaster year of trying to figure out what was wrong with him after he went missing. We all tried but we could not help him. Ultimately he made a terrible decision. And none of our Family will ever be the same. I miss him dearly!

  2. Why do you blame yourself? What happened? You can talk to me if you want. Don’t punish yourself.
    My brother took his life 6 years ago. I’m sure my father blames himself for not paying attention or for denial, but it’s no one’s fault. Word.

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