3 years after you’ve left us but yet it still does not feel real. None of it does. I have dreams of you at night, where your back from the dead. My heart races as it feels so real. I have a sense of yearning and joy like I have never experienced in my life at the thought of having a second chance with you brother. A second chance to be there for you like you have always been for me, and I make a promise to never leave your side again. Then I wake up to this painfully excruciating reality that it was all a dream. That you are really gone. Out of my reach. I find myself bitter looking at my friends and their brothers, knowing that should have been you and me making those memories. I still have not found a way to cope with our loss. Yet in the exterior I have managed to keep up a great facade. I miss you more than you could’ve ever imagined.