Empty. (SiblingSurvivors Letters)

My beautiful sister. My soulmate. My best friend. You decided to leave me two days ago. You decided to leave all your pain and suffering with me. I know you’ve been wanting this. But what more could I have done? Please, tell me. I’m begging you. A sign, a dream, a feeling. Any feeling but pain and heartache. I texted and called you every single day telling you how much I loved you. I knew I should have bought that plane ticket to see you a week before you left me and mom forever. I blame myself. I’m angry at you, too. You’re so stubborn and impulsive… that car accident? Why didn’t you tell us? I would have given you all my savings to help you get back up on your feet. Hana, a piece of me is gone. I cannot breathe, I can barely exist. I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. Moms soul isn’t even here. She isn’t eating or sleeping. She is starting to leave me too. It’s only been day 2 since you’ve left us and the hardest part hasn’t even happened. I’m on the plane to see you right now. I hate the word ‘remains’….. as if all that remaining of you is your soulless body. I don’t know if I want to see you face to face. I don’t want to lose those happy memories with you. I love you so much…. I can’t be strong much longer. I’m waiting to hear from you. I love you. If this is your final destination to happiness, I will find peace some day. But for now, I want to disappear forever. From society, from my thoughts and feelings, from existence. I am nothing without you. Remember what you wrote “no matter what happens, it’s just you and I”. You left me. Your baby 23 year old sister.

2 thoughts on “Empty. (SiblingSurvivors Letters)

  1. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know your pain. I lost my baby sister 25 years young almost 4 months ago. We were building our relationship up. I miss her everyday and most days find it hard to believe.it was just me and her and I had always told her “one day it’s gojng to just be me and you” now she is gone. I would love to say it gets better but some days are better and some days are worse. I am also trying to hold my parents together. They are ready to go themselves so they can be with her. My heart goes out to you. Just one day at a time and remember to breathe. ❤️

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. Lost my sister almost 10 years ago. Me and her had been thru hell and back. She was my best role model and ever thing I wanted to be. I’m 20 now and trust me when I say IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME. You never will forget them. Whether it be her favorite band on the radio or a cat (she was a cat lover lol) you will never forget them. But it does get easier with time. My parents aren’t and never will be the same but once again it get better with time. Advice: live life like they would want you too. Go to grief councilng as it really does help. Find god.

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