b<3
I wrote you a letter when I was 11, and I told you I loved you. I told you not to die. by your hands or any other. I am afraid of love now. to take it in, to receive it, even to be near it. it makes me so uncomfortable. it scares me, it makes me lash out. I am trying to heal. I am trying to get better. I don’t blame you. I just need to tell someone. I’m 22 now, and I think I’m in love. this won’t work unless I let it, but I don’t know how. I will learn. I have to learn, or things will only get worse.
I wrote you a letter when I was 11, and I told you I loved you. I told you not to die. by your hands or any other. I am afraid of love now. to take it in, to receive it, even to be near it. it makes me so uncomfortable. it scares me, it makes me lash out. I am trying to heal. I am trying to get better. I don’t blame you. I just need to tell someone. I’m 22 now, and I think I’m in love. this won’t work unless I let it, but I don’t know how. I will learn. I have to learn, or things will only get worse.
I’m 22, I just lost my little sister to suicide 2 weeks ago.
I am so sorry. Those words feel empty as I’ve been hearing it everyday. I am sorry. For you and for me. I hope with time we can both heal and live fulfilling lives. I have a couple friends who’s family members passed from suicide. They are living beautiful and what looks like “normal” lives now. I know the pain and sadness will always be there deep down, but it gives me hope seeing others find strength over time. I’m here with you.