How?

How am I expected to continue to live after you’re gone? How am I watching my family crumbling still, 2 years later with grief, yet everything and everyone else is moving as if nothing ever happened?
How am I supposed to live with the guilt of not helping you and ignoring you at the time you needed ME the most????? I know I could’ve prevented this. But instead I’m stuck with the consequence and living a life with out you – my only best friend, my brother. Waking up each and every morning has become a daunting task, an unbearable reality. I miss you so much it’s not even humanly possible. I’ll die a thousand times over if it meant you would be alive now instead of me. How does anyone live with this type of guilt?

3 thoughts on “How?

  1. Sorry for your loss. I understand how you are feeling as i am going through the same. I also think i could have prevented it but after 2 years of torturing myself with maybes and what ifs i know there would have been very little I could have done. I’d give everything to change it but obviously it will never happen. All that can be done is to remember the better times and maybe do some living on their behalf. It’s said a lot on this but you are definitely not alone.

  2. I feel exactly the same. It’ll be 1 year on 9/22. My brother suffered for 7 years and he started getting better then the last 2 months he spiraled down and lost hope. I had moved across the country at this point and didn’t keep in contact with him. I wish I could go back in time and be there for him more and prevent this. I miss him so much. You are not alone and I hope you find peace

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