1 month

Hey Jordan, it’s been a month. It still feels like just yesterday you were here. I miss you everyday and am still heartbroken that you aren’t here. Theo is growing every day and doing so much more than even a month ago now. He’s about the only thing that keeps me getting up each day.

It seems so impossible that you’re gone. I’m hoping writing will help me accept the situation.

I’m so sorry, I just didn’t know you were in so much pain. The world feels so empty without you here and I want nothing more than to join you. I contemplate it everyday but I have Theo and Kailee and I know they need me. We need you too and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that enough.

It’s so terrible here now. All I have are memories and regrets. I’m angry all the time. It’s not fair to the people around me but I just don’t care. There’s no one in my life who understands this pain and it makes it all the more unbearable.

I know I tell you this all the time but I truly hope you are at peace now. I love you so much

One thought on “1 month

  1. You have every right to be angry. To feel all of the feelings. It’s a wild freaking ride and you’re only a month in. Sending you love and support.

    I have two kids also, and am devastated at everything my brother is missing. Its so so hard, I hope you can be kind to yourself.

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