It was my fault

My brother took his life a little more than three months ago. I completely see it as my fault. I had this built up resentment against him because I had heard something he said about me. I don’t even remember what it was.
I had been contemplating doing the same thing a week before but I changed my lifestyle to shift. I constantly think that it should have been me. I miss him so much.
I saw the text. I saw the last text that he would ever send. And I didn’t even open it. He said he loved us (group message). The only one to reply was my mom.
I don’t know how to grieve. I’ve never had a loss in my family before. I didn’t see this coming. I was focused on petty drama. I can’t shake the feeling that it was either my fault or should’ve been me.
I miss you Albert. I love you

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One Response to It was my fault

  1. Lisa says:

    Its not your fault hun. We all feel like that when we loose a sibling to this. Keep your head up and take one day at a time. That is all you can do. Take care of yourself and focus on the here and now. That was the only way I survived through my brother’s suicide. I didnt focus on what had happened: what is done is done. I didnt look into the future: I wasnt sure I had one. I just focused on getting through TODAY. And you WILL!

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