7 thoughts on “Two lost souls

  1. Kelly,

    My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your losses. I hope you are using some of the resources on this page. I am not sure where you live, but I would also encourage you to take part in Survivors of Suicide support groups, if you are able. (http://www.afsp.org/coping-with-suicide-loss/find-support). They were a tremendous help to me after John first died – being around other people who KNEW what I was going through, who I could share my pain with. I know it seems hard to talk about it right now, but for me, I found that talking was part of the healing. Please continue to reach out and I hope you are able to find some resources to help you. Take care.

  2. Kelly,

    I am so sorry for the losses of your brothers. Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings when you are ready. We will hear you. Take good care of you Kelly.

  3. My younger brother jasons inquest is on 11 June. Not looking forward to that. Im on the process of packing at the minute as jase lived with me here and it’s too sad living here now.i cant even go into his bedroom
    I feel so lost and terribly terribly sad.does the pain ever go away.i live in England if anyone was wondering

  4. Kelly, for me the intensity of the pain and sorrow is ever changing. I still feel sadness but it does not last long and the intensity is not as it was. The feeling of being lost and confused took a little while to subside. Some of my friends throughout this process keep reminding me to do something nice for myself every day and I found that to help quite a bit. Something nice could be as simple as a walk or painting my nails or playing ball with my dog or reading. Be kind to yourself and remember we are here to listen to you. Let us know how you are doing.

  5. May 17th. 6 months to the day today since my brother jase died. Everyday its like wading through mud. I had a drink last night. I don’t drink! I feel like walking to the nearest bridge or canal and throwing myself off. I can’t keep the thoughts out of my head of him lying cold in the chapel of rest or when we had to identify him at the mortuary. He was so cold. He didn’t like being cold.my mind is in turmoil and you realise who’s there for you or not when this happens. Someone I thought was a friend told me I was a selfish bitch when jase had only been gone 5 weeks and I said I wanted to die aswell.she threw me physically out of her house. I have no one to turn to.my mum keeps telling me that my grief cant be as bad as hers like I dont matter.she keeps reminding me of the arguments me and jase had because of his misuse of alcohol and drugs but I was trying tp keep him safe from whats unfortunately happened and I do feel guilty. I only wanted him to be happy.

    1. Kelly,
      I share your pain I have to lost two brother in the same home in the same room. And I found them both. September 23 2012 I found my oldest brother Chris in the garage that was converted into a room he had passed away in his sleep. I was the last to see him and first to find him. He went to take a nap before working that night; his alarm went off and he didn’t get up. I went in there to wake him and I’ve never been in silence as I felt that moment. He was gone. On December 9th 2014, I lost my baby brother Marco as well in the garage – he had hung himself. On this day when I got home from work, I cleaned up the house and went to the garage to get the Christmas decorations and there I found him. I never recovered from losing my oldest brother. But I feel like I died losing my little brother. I can’t get the images of either of them out of my head. I often have dreams of it over again. I fear people falling asleep and panic when I see things around people’s necks. I feel your pain and wish I would take it from you. We can service this – we aren’t alone.

  6. Hi Desiree.i am sorry for your losses too.iv never been through anything so horrifying in my life and hope I never experience it again ever.We do need to stay strong and carry on with life but it’s very hard to do most days. Thank you for your words of support and I wish you peace and happiness in the future. Xxxxxxxxxx

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