When the effort to escape is exhausting.
I am there with you.
I am climbing out of the black hole with you, pushing you up and out. I am jumping off the cliff with you to land on a giant foam bed, safe and unharmed. The sun feels nice here. The breeze is soothing. No where else we need to be but in this stillness.
I know what it’s like to have sleep call your name. I’ve wanted her to hold me too. Multiple times. Don’t listen. Please stay.
I am caring for my pain beside you, as you care and bandage yours. If you run out of energy imagine my hug. The same when we were children. Warm and silly. I am still here little brother, I am hugging you even when I’m not there. I am giving you my energy meter. You can rest on my shoulder. I know you’re tired. Let it out. Breathe.
I know the pain is excruciating and tiring. Release it onto me, and hate me if you must. Just accept the help.
Remember that the feeling of overwhelming gloom is not forever. The pain will dull itself over time and the hard parts will be done and long gone. Don’t let her consume you. You’re so much stronger deep down. I know you’re there little brother. Don’t quit.
It’s okay you can collapse into my arms, I got you now little brother. You are safe. You are going to be okay. You are safe. I’m here. I am here for you always. Nothing else matters, block out the noise, you are going to be okay. I’m here for you. Please accept our help.
You matter. All versions of you are still you and I will always love you. Please stay.
I am so sorry to have caused you any pain. And for everything I didn’t do that I should have done. On behalf of our entire family, I apologize for it all.
I think of you every day.
I love you so much.
Your sister
Your words are so tender and full of grace. It’s a truly moving testament to the bond you’ll always share with him. Sending you so much warmth and strength. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart with us.
Thank you so much for posting this. It made me cry so hard because it put to words how I feel about losing my little brother 4 months ago. These are all of the things I wish he could hear me say; why didn’t I say them when he was here? Your love for your brother comes through so clearly; I carry this loss too, and I’m walking alongside you.