Little brother

4 months and christmas is approaching. I’ve been through your bday. Turkey day, hunting season, but this time this holiday, it hurts bro. I miss you. I hate seeing dad so sad. I feel like I’m drowning. I never wish u back, I wish u free. I’m not sure if u think we didnt love or need you. But we really did. I needed u. I still do. Freddy got a tree too big this year, and u were not here to fix it. I lost it. The thought of more days like today debates me. I cant stop hearing dads voice on the phone that day. Or you laying there in the hospital. I’m angry and sad. I am lost. I miss you so much. I miss us. I miss not being alone. I dont know how to be ok this time. I have to. I just dont know how. I love you soo much scotty. Always have and always will little brother. I wish you free.

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