Maddox, its been a few weeks since you’ve passed and it still hurts that you thought that suicide way the way out of this situation that you were in. Maybe i could’ve helped you more but i cant now and i regret it everyday because i was so mean to you and you were mean back but i didn’t take it to the heart like you did and I’m sorry i flipped out on ur mom. i saved everyone else from suicide except you and it hurts to think you’re the one person i could’ve saved. I’m going back to school tomorrow and I’m kinda scared because i know people will talk about you and how you passed. people will look at me and see weak for crying or having an anxiety attack or showing emotion because I’m a guy. but ill go through hell and back to talk to your ugly self one more time and i didn’t mean for it to end this way.  i want dad and heather to adopt someone because its boring without you. you and me had a hate – love relationship and i wish that we had a better relationship. i cant change anything that you did or i did in the past and i don’t think ill ever get over you. you made a dent in my life that can never change and I’m happy and sad about it. i always thought i would be the one to die first but that wasn’t the case. you didn’t deserve anything that happened to you even though you were annoying. i cant believe you died on October, 19 ,2020. everyone is hurting except you because you’re not here, you’re in a wall or something. you were the worst best little brother.

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