I’ve rewritten this letter countless times, in my head, in blogs, and now here where I’ll hopefully finish. I miss you. TJ misses you. I’m sure your girls do too, they loved their mommy so much. I don’t see them anymore. Since you left us, everything has fallen apart.
Mom is 20 hours away and can’t focus on anyone but herself. My dad is practically a drunk now. TJ is so full of guilt that I’m not sure if he’s going to make it. Adam took the girls and we haven’t heard from them since.
I’m sorry I was never there, I’m sorry I didn’t go to Ulta with you or to get pedicures. I’m sorry I never kept in touch after I moved, I’m sorry I missed your last birthday so I could go to a football game. I’m sorry for not being a sister to you. I’m sorry for not being more patient.
Why did you leave? Why did you overdose? Why couldn’t you have gone somewhere for help instead?
I have so much to say to you Tasha, I just want to hear your voice and tell you how sorry I am. I want to tell you how proud I am about how well you were doing before all of this. It’s already been over a year but all the pain is still inside me, and it won’t go away. I need to talk to you. I need to hear you.
I love you Tash,