I lost my baby sister to suicide (SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post)

I lost my baby sister to suicide

On October 2, 2017 I lost my baby sister to suicide at the young age of 39. I’m so hurt and confused because I talked to her the day before. I’m angry with myself for not recognizing any possible signs in our conversation that may have saved her life. I cry just thinking about her. I pray she’s at peace and in heaven now with our dad but how do I know she’s at peace and in heaven. Deep down I’m selfish because I believe she could have stayed here and that my love was enough to fix her. My sister had a past of suicide attempts but was able to be saved so why wasn’t she saved this time I still talk to her as though she’s here with me and it’s like I’m trying to convince myself she’s here watching just to feel like she is but I don’t know if she’s really here with me or not. I feel like myself and everyone she loved failed her by not saving her or preventing her from committing suicide. It also replay in my head nonstop.

6 thoughts on “I lost my baby sister to suicide (SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post)

  1. My heart goes out to you. My son Matthew Campbell committed suicide in 2016 in March. I know he is now with Jesus in Heaven–he wanted a Bible shortly before he died. It is not your fault and you loved your sister with an abounding love–God loves your sister as well–but it is so hard to fathom how these things can happen. I will be praying for you and your family. Get a goo church group to support you at this time and look to God in faith. I am here for you.

    1. Sorry for the loss of your son. My sister also got a new bible just before she died and I believe she is now in heaven and I pray she has joined my dad who died several years ago. My heart just feels so empty and I wish I knew why my sister felt as though she had no other choice but to die.

  2. Hello,
    I am so sorry for your loss, I can understand where you are atm as I too lost my younger brother 6/9/2017.
    at 31yrs old. Not a day goes by that I dont think of him, it kills me inside that I should have helped him and should have listened or saw the signs. I am devasted hes not living life with us and I feel guilty for laughing or being happy when hes now not living. It hurts me that his mental state made him believe the lies that were going through his mind. He didnt want to die he just wanted to end his mental pain. I’m so sorry again my dear, all we can do is lean on God and his love.

    1. With my younger brother he went missing for a week and was found in bushland not far from where I live. It was very traumatic also knowing he was already very decomposed. It was the hardest experience ive dealt with in my life..
      So sorry Rachel and David, it truely is an unbelievable pain that will obviously take time to heal..❤️
      God be your strength.

  3. I’m sorry for the loss of your brother. I completely understand how you feel because I too feel guilty if I laugh. I even felt guilty going back to work this week as though I should mourne my sister longer but I’m a single mom and need to take care of my daughter too. I believe my sister also wanted her pain to end and that’s why she hung her self but I just wish she had known there was so much more to life. Shauna suffered from bipolar disorder and I think maybe she just felt too broken to continue life.

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