Hey S,
I need help. I’ve been a mess since that day about three years ago, and to this day I am still haunted. I want to be on this Earth but I can’t let anyone in. I push the family away and I keep my friends just far enough so that I don’t have to open up. I’m scared that if I do open up to someone I will lose them. I’m only 14 and I feel as if I’m trapped in a glass box that I put myself into. I don’t hug those around me except for when I feel i should. No one knows I’ve been this scarred and I don’t know how to tell anyone. I just want to talk to you but I know you won’t respond. Every time I feel ready to open up I freeze. I miss you more than anything❤️



3 thoughts on “Help

  1. You have to love yourself. Nobody can more than yourself. You have people who live with you, they love you and you love them. First of all, you have to tell them you love them. Don’t stay alone. Your relatives are the tool to come out from this feeling. Use positive words in your mind, exercise or walk. Call relatives, get new friends with new point of view. Don’t trust websites to lead bad things. Make an effort to be happy. Laugh and enjoy the small things. Change music,clothes and friends. There are people who need you. Share with them.

  2. Wow, you are just 14. I’m 54 and just lost my 55 yr. old big sister a month ago. My 18 yr. old son asked, “how will we ever be happy again?” My only response was that we must recognize those moments of happiness (and they do happen) and feel ourselves living. Let your smile happen and let yourself laugh at something funny. You are a part of the living world here on earth. I am so sorry for your loss and pain and I’m so sorry for mine and my family. We are experiencing something that no one understands without experience. No child should ever experience this, but you are and you must know that there will be times in life when you will be able to enjoy real pleasures and joys. All of us “survivors” have to live with what we didn’t know and couldn’t do. You say you can’t hug and you feel trapped. I understand that feeling. Let one or two trusted people know this or read what you’ve posted and let yourself hug and be hugged. Please don’t let your young life be lost to grief. You must experience your grief, but let someone in. I understand how you grieve and I want you to know that I love you and I am hugging you in my heart right now. I am a mother of a teen aged boy going off to college in just 2 months. I am so sorry for the pain my son is feeling. He was very close to his aunt and I can hear in your letter that you were very close to your sibling. I can’t promise that you won’t lose someone else in your life, but it won’t happen because you let someone get close to you. That is the good part of life. Your letter is a step in the right direction of expressing your grief. Don’t just tell the readers here. Please find a person who you trust and share the letter you wrote so they’ll know how you’re feeling. We have to help one another, but we have to ask for the help we need too. You are a young person who loved a sibling deeply. You have a capacity for love. Let it be a part of your healing.

  3. I am new to this site and just read your letter. I echo the wise words of the last reply. I hope that in the intervening months you have been able to confide in family or friends. You have so much life ahead of you. There will be wonderful experiences to enjoy and new and deepening relationships ahead of you. There will though unfortunately be lows to endure at some point and I sincerely hope they are very few and far between. We each of us only have one brief shot at life on this precious planet. In all the ages gone and all the rest of eternity there will nevef be another you. Open yourself to feel and share love again. The pain you are going through is a testament of your deep love. I am in much the same position as you but I an 53. You must learn to live your life and try to embrace love and life. Your life will change beyond all recognition in years to come. Please be strong and value everyone in your life. I am sure if they have an inkling of what you are feeling they will do their utmost to help you through this. I do SO hope you are ok.

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