best friend

I can’t breathe without you gabi. I miss you so much, I can’t go to the house it’s unbearable. I can’t keep seeing mom cry. I just want you back more than anything take me in your place. You were MY little sister my best friend and I should have been there I should have done something. I’m so sorry I ever moved away to college I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were on that medication I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry about Sam and Kelsey those backstabbing pieces of shit. I’m so sorry I didn’t know gabi. I hang out with you every weekend and I should have known. I wish I could hug you again and here you tell me you love me. I wish I could here your music coming from your room again. I wish we were kids again and could do it all over. It’s been 3 weeks since you left me and I will never be the same. How am I suppose to keep what’s left of our little family. I’m all that’s left and mom and dad probably aren’t going to stay together now and they want to sell the house. I just can’t do all of this Gabi I can’t. Your 16th birthday is next Monday and I’m just so broken I was the first person that took your driving. I know you didn’t want to do this Gabi I know you were just angry and hurt and the meds gave you the push to do it. I so badly want to take this back want to wake up from this terrible nightmare. I miss you gabi I miss you so much and I love you so much. Just please come back to me I just want to be able to see you again and hug you. Please Gabi.

3 thoughts on “ best friend

  1. I’m sorry. I really wish I had magic powers to turn back time…. My house is quiet and sad too. It’s just hard because no one understands. I understand you though, they were here and now they’re not. I’m sorry. For me, for you. My heart feels like it could be puked out… I just want to hug my brother… And I can’t. But you’ll meet again, I promise. You’ll see her. She loved you…. Take care.

  2. I can relate my sister was 17 and I had recently moved to Florida. I wish I had never left. She was my best friend. I wish this was a nightmare :/

  3. I can feel the pain and sadness in your words, those were my words when I lost my brother. Only survivors of lived ones lost to suicide can understand. The sudden loss, the regret for not seeing something, the awkwardness of not being able to talk about it with your friends and the hurt of not being able to have said good bye. I miss my brother and all the things we missed out on together, even after all this time there’s not a day goes by that something doesn’t remind me of him. I wish I could do more than just pray for you and your family for the pain to ease but you are in my prayers as are everyone who’s post I read. I wish you strength and peace of heart during this awful time.

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