I still need my big brother. I see Lillian running around and chasing Ash and screaming at each other and all I think about is that I miss my bubba.
I’m done typing now.
I still need my big brother. I see Lillian running around and chasing Ash and screaming at each other and all I think about is that I miss my bubba.
I’m done typing now.
This pain is far too intense. The antidepressants take the edge off a little.
I’m so sorry we had such a tough upbringing and depression ended up taking your life. I could never ever be mad at you for leaving me. I was there first hand to witness everything in your life that brought you to that moment in the woods.
We had such big plans. I’ll try to keep them going alone.
Sis, I love and miss you more than I could have never imagined. I will find you one day, wherever you are. You will always be my #1!
Im having constant images of him dying as I imagine and it’s the most disturbing images of my life. I couldn’t watch a horror movie the same way this week as I had the last. I could barely watch anything. I don’t blame him or think he’s weak or a coward. He will be my bright shining brother till I join him, wherever that may be.
To anyone suffering tonight as I am this is for you. I don’t like people much, truth be told. But this post isn’t for them. It’s for my now secret club of sibling suicide that I can’t believe I’m a part of. I feel like im being swallowed up in sadness. Now I walk this world more alone.
You should always end something with hope I guess. I guess that’s for others. We will be stronger than them.
Hi bubba, it’s your little sister. It’s so difficult to live without you when holidays are coming up and my 21st birthday. You won’t be here to get drunk with me and party for the first time. You won’t be here for Christmas or Halloween or thanksgiving bubba. You passed in Nov of 2017 and it’s been so hard. I’m missing you a lot tonight Brandon.
Sometimes I wish it was me instead of you. You were so loved B. I love you so much.
Hey. It’s almost been 2 years since you lost your battle with depression and obviously you’ll never see this or know, but you would have been 28 today if you’d stuck around and I feel I should acknowledge it somewhere. We all miss you so much. I wonder what you would have done today. It’s obviously really late, but happy 26th birthday. It will haunt me forever that I forgot to wish you a happy birthday the last one you were alive for and that you were so alone for it and had this plan already in place. Two years ago you were sitting alone somewhere. Had you already ordered the poison? Did you know which motel you’d go to? Did you know how much we loved you? That depression runs in the family and we could have talked and held on together? That dad, our brother, and I all have that empty void and were just figuring shit out one day at a time too? Did you know that you weren’t alone?
I love you even though you aren’t here anymore and I had to get this off my chest even though you’ll never know…
Love, Your big sister
Wow, I don’t know where to start. Its been a while since I’ve been on this site. But here we go.
6 years today. Feels like yesterday. Your picture hangs in my cubical. I see you everyday and miss you so much. So much has gone on. I struggle, I drink, I overeat. But I’m trying. It does get easier but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t want to call you or text you about something. I read some of the other posts and they call each other soulmates. What a great description of their relationships. I think that is what ours was too. Damn it, I miss you so much. Your two best friends reached out to me today. I hope you know how much they loved you too. Christ now I’m crying at work typing this. I love you and miss you so much!!!