You are not at this site because you want to be.
You may be experiencing a crushing sadness that you believe you cannot survive. You may be angry. You may be lost to the focus on your parents’ grief.
Each in our own way, we have stood where you are. For three years I felt like I had to will every breath I took. Nothing was familiar because everything was painted with my grief. I did not see a way I could live the rest of my life in this place,
This new life of mine is now familiar. I work in a helping field. I can be happy and I know, most days, that my life matters.
Journaling helped. Therapy helped. Waiting past the moment I thought I could not helped.
Keep coming here. You are not alone.

4 thoughts on “Breathe

  1. Thank you! You are right we are not alone. Unfortunately we are part of this sisterhood and brotherhood that we did not choose to be, but here we are. Journaling helped. Therapy helped too as does reading these messages here. Our loved ones will never be forgotten and our hearts will always bare the scares of what they chose to do but in time it does get better. Slowly…..

  2. Thank you for writing what you did, it gives me hope that things will get better eventually. I lost my twin sis back in March (I will forever dread St. Patrick’s Day) right before our 40th birthday. I am in the “I have to will every breath I take” phase. Everything around me is painted in grief.

    I’m so happy your world is familiar again. That really does give me hope. <3

    1. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
      Today is 37 years since my brother started the fire. He lived for 43 days after.
      Today you shared your hope with me as I find myself back at this site.
      For every bit of goodness we find, we are able to move a bit away from our loss being nothing but an awful tragedy that leaves us barley surviving.
      Thank you and take care.

  3. Thank you for the reply. Today is 37 years since my brother started the fire. He lived for 43 days after. Keep breathing. Be hopeful. Find some goodness knowing that your note touched me and it matters.

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