December 10, 2015. You took a bottle of sleeping pills and never woke up. I remember hearing my mom screaming from the emergency room when they said you were gone as I stood outside and dropped to the ground. It felt like the world had stopped and shattered into a million pieces. You were so tired weren’t you? So tired from fighting your depression and anxiety and eating disorders and body dysmorphia. You wanted to get better so badly and I hoped that one day you would be able to overcome it all. You were only 15, so young and so beautiful. You were too good for this cruel world and my life will never be the same without you. I miss you so much and I still feel like you’re coming back and this is all a bad dream. Mom and dad miss you so much it hurts me to see how broken they are without you. I try to keep telling myself that you’re happy and you’re finally the person you were always meant to be. I look forward to the day I get to hold you again and hear your laugh. I will always love you and I will live for you and be strong for you.

Until next time, my angel.

3 thoughts on “Amanda

  1. I lost my 17 year old sister on August 4,2016. This is my first time and on this page/first comment. I really do feel for you. I feel the same way about my sister. I wish I knew what to say to make it better, I just know they would want us to raise awareness and help others.

  2. Its absolutely devastating to think that behind these peoples beautiful faces there is just immense pain. My sister of 29 committed suicide on November the 12th. She was my best friend and everything roled into 1. Does it still feel dream like for any of you? Can you see a future yet? I really hope you are both coping as well as you can.

    1. Hi Ben, I haven’t been on this site in a really long time. Looking back at my post and it feels as if I wrote is yesterday. We’re coming up on her two year anniversary and I can’t believe it’s been that long. My parents still haven’t touched her room…. I’m hopefully graduating college this year and to know that she won’t be there breaks my heart. While I still miss her and think of her everyday, it does get better. I am living for her. Xoxo, Gaby

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