7 months… Happy Fathers Day (SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post)

Serg, we managed to get through our first fathers day without you… Your kids, I can only imagine had a rough time. We spent the day with dad as we are accustom to doing every year & of course with our older brother. You changed our life so much, it feels so wrong & so empty without you, we try to move forward but who are we kidding, you forced this extreme sadness upon us, mom is so sad and it breaks my heart.. not only are we heartbroken because you are not around but we also are heartbroken seeing our 78 yr old parents walking around with this deep pain that cannot be fixed, they are just waiting for god to take them away and all I can do is try to comfort them while holding back so much inside that it hurts me to my core. I pray for them every night in hope that god will give them some peace and take away the guilt they carry, I wish I could take away all their pain myself but unfortunately I can’t so I try my best to distract them somehow. We lit your candle all day during fathers day, I know you were there. I hope you are happy and enjoying our family that has gone to heaven. We will never ever be the same but I guess we have no choice but to try to live without you. I miss you so much that it hurts me, I feel anxiety & this weird pain in my stomach to think that I cannot see you, hug you, touch you, talk to you, get mad at you, text you, call you NOTHING, why Serg why. The worst part is that we loved you more than our own life, we protected you, we helped you but yet you left and we feel guilt for not doing enough.. I have never been selfish, I know you did this because you must of felt so low that you couldn’t see a way out but we would of done anything for you!!! This was so unfair, you changed the course of our happy loving family life we did not deserve this but yet we Love YOU, we look forward to seeing you again. Love, Your sis that will forever adore you and misses you so much.

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