4 Months… The memories live on. (SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post)

Serg today was an extremely hard day, we transfered your car title, had lunch with your boys and felt your presence with us. I of course, could not hold my tears, I cried the entire day because I smelled you in your car & felt as if you were right next to me telling me how not to change the gears and remembering our drives to CVS at 2am.. You changed my life in so many ways Serg, my heart is so broken, I think of you all day sometimes I laugh, other times I smile but most times I cry because I miss you so much. I know that I will see you again but knowing that I wont on this earth is heartbreaking to me. I just want to tell you that I am so sorry that your life ended this way, I cant imagine how low you must of felt to end your life this way, you didnt think of what an impact this would have on our mom & dad, your boys, neices, cousins and me your sis that adored you and that was there for you no matter what. I miss you saying “I love you sis” and although I have it all over my texts I would give up everything just to hear you say it again.
My love for you was unconditional, this is the only peace I have knowing that you knew how much I love you because not a day went by that I didnt prove my love for you I just wish you would have loved me the same because if you did you wouldnt have left me this way, I believed you when you told me “I promise you sis I wont do this to you” & you left a few months later… Here we are 4 months without you and mom & dad are miserable, mom cries everyday for you, if only you could see how broken she is she’s so devastated nothing can make her smile not even me and you know how close we are, dad is just hanging in there occasionally I will catch him in a daze thinking and notice his eyes sad, Tony of course misses his bro, and me well you know you took a piece of my heart and I cant seem to mend it! All we can do is continue to live feeling emptiness, pain, heartbreak and incomplete because we are missing a big part of our life YOU. Some how I got through my miserable birthday now we have to go through your boys bdays next week, dads in june, YOURS in august, moms in Sept and Tonys in Nov not to mention mothers & fathers day. Oh serg why why why? God help us I beg you. Love you sergio with all my heart.

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