How do i go on..?

I lost my sister to a suicide on overdosing pills about a month ago and it feels like its only been days. She was 17 and i’m dealing with this only just turning sixteen two months prior and i don’t know how to act right now. My parents are broken and i don’t know how to describe what i’m feeling aside from pain and grief. If anyone has dealt with something similar please advise me on what to do now, as i have no idea. I have summer work for my AP classes next year and friends over constantly but no matter how much i busy myself i cant get rid of the pain and i don’t know what to do. Please help me if you know how.

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7 Responses to How do i go on..?

  1. A. says:

    One month isn’t a long time. I lost my sibling three months ago and it’s still difficult. I don’t think you can get rid of the pain. It will come and go in waves. It comes less often and then one day you’ll notice you didn’t cry. That turns into two. Then that turns into a week. Then you will break down and pick yourself back up again. A friend told me that you never get over it, you just learn to live with what happened and without that person. One day, you will be able to think of your sister and laugh or smile at the memories you shared. If you are able to, I suggest going to therapy. It might be helpful to have a third party to unload on.

  2. Nicola says:

    My 26 yr old sister took her life last month. On the 4th of June she hung herself from a tree in the local park. She left behind 4 small beautiful children. 2 boys and 2 girls. It is an enormous task trying to be strong for my mam and everyone. Even my own children I need to be strong for. Please take time for yourself and grieve. Everyone will worry about everybody’s feelings and it’s hard to open up. But please take time for you xxx

  3. Iseult says:

    Sweetie…one month is no time at all. I lost my brother 2 years ago and still miss him each day. I don’t think it ever goes away. Someone said something to me… that grief is like a space that you can’t fill…. I didn’t understand what they meant… but I think it means that grief makes a huge space in your life…. and it doesn’t go away… you kinda need to figure out how to fill that space with other stuff…think about your life being a jar….and out of nowhere that jar is full of sorrow….make the jar bigger so it can take the loss… so the loss becomes smaller… still figuring it out myself…take care…you will be alright even though that seems impossible ….it is

  4. Emily says:

    I’m 24 and my 19 year old brother took his life in May. I’ve promised to celebrate his life and I’ve started a diary that I’m filling with all of my memories of him. Everyone seems to be focusing on his last moments but I want to remember all of the lovely things about him! We’ve also made a memories book where all of his friends and our family have put beautiful messages and we’re getting a big trunk to keep in our living room full of his things so we can think about all of the precious memories we have. I’ve had so many spontaneous breakdowns but we do need to let it all out and just give ourselves time to griev. If anyone has any other memory ideas let me know plz. Hope this helps x

  5. Hannah says:

    My brother took his life almost 3 years ago. I never for once thought I would feel normal again. All I could do is replay over and over in my head how he must’ve been feeling at that moment and blaming myself for not being the Sister who intervened in his personal life. After about 6 months, I realized I needed help to be able to sleep again, eat again and live. I had let his death take over my life and was falling into a deep dark place. I went to a counselor and realized I needed someone to talk to that didn’t know me or my situation…someone to just listen to me cry…no judgement or insight to my situation. He encouraged me to write letters to my brother every day. No matter how I felt…let it out and tell him how I feel. This became so crucial in my healing. Sometimes staying busy just hides your feelings and postpones that breakdown we all want to avoid. Cry when you need to.Will you ever be normal again? No. But you will find a “new normal” and you will learn to let your brother live through you…im sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you. Your sibling will always be with you.

  6. Hannah says:

    My brother took his own life almost 3 years ago. I started writing my brother a letter every day. Even if I was angry or just really struggling to make it through…this really helped me to express the pain. Will you ever be normal again? No, but you will find a new normal. If you have trouble sleeping and eating…or being physically sick a lot, definitely get a counselor. Take care of yourself. Your sibling will always be with you. Let them live through you!

  7. Nicole Pacent says:

    Hi, sweetheart. I lost my younger sister to suicide 2.5 years ago, and the two things that helped me the most were finding a great therapist to see one on one, and attending monthly meetings of The Compassionate Friends. If you haven’t heard of TCF, they are an international support group for families who have lost children of any age for any reason. Through attending local TCF meetings, I was able to meet other bereaved siblings, one of whom has become a very dear friend of mine. A lot of the bereaved parents in the room also took me under their wing, which felt nice because my own parents live far away, and they were too consumed in their own grief to help me much. Do a Google search for The Compassionate Friends and see if there is a meeting in/near your town. And please seek a great therapist who specializes in grief. These two things, in combination with writing about and making videos dedicated to my sister, really helped me. The pain never goes away, but it does get easier to cope so long as you get the help you need and express the pain instead of repress it. If you want to read/watch anything from another bereaved sister, please feel free to visit my Tumblr page “Road to Kimbahkia,” and/or my YouTube channel youtube.com/Nicole Pacent and watch the videos related to my sister (ie “Today’s Truth: I Miss My Sistet,” and “Regarding Suicide,” etc). Sending you lots of love in empathy. We are all truly in this together.

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