They say grief comes in waves, neatly transitioning between each phase. Sadness, anger, confusion… They lied. It’s all of it, all at once hitting you in the face. Each wave crashing on top of you like it’s the first time you heard.
It’s been over a year now and I haven’t found the strength to find peace. Instead I find more questions, more painful memories, more sadness. The most traumatic and painful event in my life was your death. My older sister – so beautiful, loving, artistic. We met the day before and you had hope – you had a plan to leave him and get better for you and for your son. Then just like that, fast forward just a few hours and your gone. Did you not believe that so many people love you and would do anything to show you how you look in their eyes? And now in the wake of your tragedy, someone else took their life because they couldn’t handle the world without you. Now there’s two beautiful lost souls. Two families crashing through guilt, grief, sadness…. everything. If you only knew how loved you are.
This is not a suicide or crisis resource. Please contact a counselor, family member, friend, or emergency services if you are having suicidal thoughts.
In the USA, call:
For Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and People with Speech Disabilities who use a TTY, call 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)