Dear Little Sissy,
All our life we never got along. I was all ways the mother we lacked. When you had anxiety I’m 22nd free and plucked your eyebrows I told our teachers. When I knew you were doing drugs in high school I texted you (on mom’s phone) and called you to come home at night, pretending it was an emergency. When we were adults I would tell you to leave your boyfriend to have a better life because he never change. When he killed himself, I tried to push you to move on and let go of his things. But I should have never played the role of mom. Though ours sucked , my role was a sister. A support system. A friend. Someone to confied in, someone to trust. You had a hard life, harder than I will ever know. I regret so much. I wish I would have told you I wanted you alive. I wish that on my birthday I wouldn’t have asked why you were so happy, because every time you were happy something messed up happens. I was worried because in the past your bipolar disorder would take over and you would do something like crash your car into someone’s car or their house. I wish I would have been more sensitive to your situation . I wish I would have been more of an advocate for you to our parents, instead of trying to do the job for them. I wish I would have stood up for you when our mom was talking advantage of you. I wish so many things after your death , but most of all that you’re happy in your afterlife. I loved you like a sister and a daughter. I wish you nothing but peace.
This is not a suicide or crisis resource. Please contact a counselor, family member, friend, or emergency services if you are having suicidal thoughts.
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