Steven

My name is Kim and my brother killed himself this past Wednesday night November 23, 2016. I happened to be at my moms when I got the call and heard that my brother was in an accident. I knew he had done something. I could tell in my sister in laws moms voice when she told me. He shot himself and he is dead. He was fighting with his wife and in a moment of rage and impulse killed himself in the house were my four year old niece was and his wife. I am sick and I and my mother have been trying to find somewhere someone we can talk to. So far not luck right but it’s only Monday. It’s only Monday but it feels like it’s the night I found out. I had to tell my ten year old he died her uncle whom she loved so much. I had to go see his body at the funeral home and just cry and ask why? I have this constant pain and can’t stop thinking about it!

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2 Responses to Steven

  1. Aubrey says:

    The pain feels unreal, as if someone has ripped your insides from your throat but they’re trying to hang on. Maybe if they actually were pulled out the pain would stop. The first weeks to months, days run together, just looking someone in the eye seems impossible. For some reason you want to wear a shirt that states what you’re going through so people would just be nice. Maybe if the world was nice no one would be in the situation. I am so sorry for your loss. You’re in shock right now and that’s your body’s way of protecting you. Scream, cry out, dance.. whatever when you need to.. it’s for the best. Sending love to your family. Lost my brother to suicide 7/21/15

  2. Michele says:

    I am so sorry for your pain and the pain your family is experiencing. I lost my brother 3 years ago in October. I wish I knew something to say to ease the feelings you have. To be honest right after all of the normal thing one thinks to say to someone grieving, made me more angry. So I try hard not to say them. I will say that grief is not linear, it comes in waves. I think of my brother everyday, and I will never stop. Also this is not any of YOURS fault. He chose this. Please remember that. He was probably in so much pain that it was just too hard to see anything else… I found that keeping a journal of the good memories, putting pictures of his smiling face, and trying to keep myself grounded in the here and now (as opposed to letting my mind be consumed with thoughts of that moment) helped/s me to make it through the really bad moments. It is a process. This kind of loss can be especially hard. You might see if there is a grief support place in your area that could lead you to the right place. Our town has this information through the local covenant hospice. Local churches can sometimes have that information as well. I hope this helps. Just take it one day at a time. Sending you and your family love and peace.

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