SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post

My little brother, Jacob Rogers, was gay. That did not bother my family nor myself. It was always known and excepted since he was little. But we grew up in a small country town and he was picked on for years over this. We were a grade apart so I never heard or noticed these things taking place. He always shook off the jokes and never told me nor the rest of my family about this. Well I graduated high school in May of 2011 and moved in with some friends. When I moved out in May, I did not contact my family but about once a week. Well on December 7th I get a call saying my Brother Jacob is dead. That he shot and killed himself. My heart sank to my a**. It was the first time my entire body felt tingly because of emotion. Not a single day goes by that I don’t think about that day and the weeks following. Six years later nothing has changed. I can still hear his voice saying my name and I can still remember specific conversations. I do not remember the last time I spoke to him let alone our last words together. The last I remember of my little brother was seeing him walk out of a Walmart with a group of friends, I did not approach him nor did he even see me. I did not want to come up and speak to him with his friends around – I wanted to give him his friend time. Not a single day goes by that I don’t regret not running across the parking lot and talking to him. What I wouldn’t give for just a phone call now. F***.

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