Pain Never Fades.

On July 12, 2014, my older and only brother shot himself in head. He was 25. 8AM Saturday morning. I had literally just fell asleep an hour before he did it. I was up thinking about our sister that passed and he was asleep on the couch. He woke up and went downstairs in the hallway and I slept on the couch. I woke up to my sister screaming “Timothy’s shot!” 8:15AM. He shot himself in the head downstairs. We never knew he owned a gun or was feeling so low to this point.
We’d lost our 18 year old sister April, my big sister and his little sister, a year prior, to gun violence. She was killed. He was there with her as she laid dying in his arms. He’s our only brother, so I know he felt like he was supposed to protect us and he couldn’t protect April. I am still angry that he did something so selfish, leaving behind kids and an already grieving family.
How didn’t we see the signs?? Today I laugh and smile at memories, tomorrow I cry, then the next day I’m mad again. But mostly I just try to spend as much time as possible with my family and we’re open about everything going on in our lives. We keep each other strong Depression isn’t a joke and people need to pay attention to signs in family members or friends.
Love you Timothy Love you April

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