My loving brother took his own life on Nov. 2nd 2014. He was 31 years old. I wish I could say I know why he did it but, I DON’T KNOW. I was the last person to talk to him, he expressed his deep love and respect for me. He said I was a great sister. All I know is, he was going through severe depression. My dad had recently been released from the hospital which is why I assumed he was sad.
My brother was married and had a daughter who turned 3 years old the following week after his death. He took his own life the day after his wife’s birthday, also in November. I have yet to make sense of this. He never did drugs and was committed to his family and parents, living in Mexico. They all lived in the same house. I was unable to travel for his funeral due to financial reasons and I hadn’t seen any of them including him in 7 years. But I constantly talked on the phone with him. I talked more with him than with my own Dad. All I know is, he was having marital problems, which he kept from his parents (Dad and Stepmom) but shared with my other brother.
His wife showed no emotion during his funeral and left the house with the baby the following day after the services according to my other brother.
In trying to make sense of this, I’m also trying to forgive myself for not being the big sister I should’ve been. Could I have said anything to him to prevent him from doing this? Should I have made more time to listen? I was at work when he called. I work for a Middle School and didn’t want to loose my composure. I said I’d call back and I didn’t. I love my brother, he was a kind, loving and generous soul. He stayed behind while we all left, to take care of his parents. Why?! Why him?!