I have four younger brothers, or had. Three months ago my brother just younger than me passed away from carbon monoxide posioning. That was very hard on all of us, but then it got drastically harder…
Almost three weeks ago, my husband, my brother and I went to easter at my grandmas, (its like a reunion, huge get-together) we had a great time and got home (my brother had been staying with us for about a month) We made popcorn and sat down to watch a movie, all of us laughed and laughed and just enjoyed the movie and each other.
My husband went to bed around 12:30 am. About ten minutes later, my brother got up, and i just assumed it was to go to the bathroom. After about half hour/ forty fuve minutes, I started to wonder what was up, so I went to the bathroom door to find the door open a crack and the light off, so i pulled it open, and he wasnt in there.
A few nights prior, he had gone outside, and said it was to get some fresh ir because his asthma was acting up. So this night i assumed the same, I went outside and called for him, didnt see him, but noticed my garage light was on in the stall farthest feom the house, so i walked over there and could partially see him (that stall is storage, and is very cluttered), i called out to him again with no response. So i walked around a stack of stuff, and then could fully see him hanging from the rafters, by a ratchet strap. I immediately called 911and screamed at the top of my lungs for help and ran to the house to grab a knife. I ran back and tried to support his weight, as i cut the strap, he fell, i began doing cpr, the chest compressions and mouth to mouth. I could tell by the way he smelled and how his lips tasted he was gone, but i couldnt stop. Finally the first cop got to my house, and i continued the compressions as he started the dibulator process, about that time the second cop got there, and i finally was able to stop and phone my mother, and wake up my husband, they say between me and them we did cpr for over an hour to no avail. He was only 22 years old.
I close my eyes and all i can see is him still up there, i hate coming home, and i feel so alone, no one understands, everyone keeps asking me “how you hanging in there” and i just want to scream!!! Do they realize how bad of a choice of words that is?!?!