My younger brother took his own life 5 months ago this week. He died 4 days after his 20th birthday. He had been suffering from depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, autism and borderline personality disorder. As well as abuse from our father and his girlfriend leaving him for someone else.
Now it’s time to go back to university and i’m struggling everyday without him. People don’t understand. It’s hard to function. I miss him everyday. People say time heals wounds but it feels like its getting deeper and harder to go through each day.
I like to talk about him but then people get awkward and make me feel uncomfortable about it. Or if they do talk about him they say things like “he made his choice, that’s where he wants to be.” but i don’t agree. i think he wanted help, he did not realise what he was doing.
I’m trying to be brave for my mum and for my family but nothing seems to help.
I’m finding it so hard to relate to people and to find people to talk to. It’s something only a sibling of someone who has taken their own life can understand.
Does anyone understand?
This is not a suicide or crisis resource. Please contact a counselor, family member, friend, or emergency services if you are having suicidal thoughts.
In the USA, call:
For Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and People with Speech Disabilities who use a TTY, call 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)