Right on, Susan!!!!!!!!!!

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Hello everyone - I'm sad to see so much of the spam coming back -



I have been looking for books/articles/websites/blogs to review to help with my healing. When looking online - there are so many options I'm not even sure where to start. Does anyone have any suggestions?



Everytime I visit this site, I am amazed at the things you are all saying - it's like you can read my mind. We have the same worries and concerns about our families - the same loneliness in our hearts from our sibling - the same feelings... I appreciate the openness and honesty - it has helped me tremendously. I don't feel ashamed and alone anymore.



Thanks - Kryss

Becky-thank you for your entry-My mother as well will always say she has 3 children because Tom will always be a part of her and us how are you going to dismiss someone that you have given birth too-as well as you my other living brother also suffers in silence and I am terrified that he also may be drinking (alot!!)which has the rest of my family on edge we are not sure if it is a problem or not but my mom of course is worried-my dad also does not speak about it unless I ask-I have two half sisters who are much younger that I am and one is pregnant and will be named after my brother and we are all so happy about that and cant wait-keep healing-Susan

Susan,

Our brothers Tom! It is very hard for my parents as well. I struggle right along with them as we will never know why. Tom's death impacts me in so many ways. I have an 18 year old son who is really struggling(just withdrew from college) and won't go to counseling and doesn't realize that he has stuffed his feelings for 3 years. My Mom and I talk about Tom. She tells people that she meets that she has 3 children, then tells them about Tom's suicide. My Dad won't even say the word. My remaining brother mourns silently. Peace be with you. The struggle will always be there. Sometimes this site is a lifesaver.

Dear Jenn;

My heart aches for you....no-one should have to live through this pain. My brother, Matt, took his life on February 19th, 2010. Like your brother, he was the life of the party, always happy, with a million friends and everything to live for. I still don't understand how this could have happened....except that I know that he did this to escape the pain he was struggling with.

I've discovered that you never get over this - you just learn to live with the sadness. Two years into this, I've stopped re-living the dark days that followed his death and I don't re-hash the questions as much (why? what more could I have done? did he know I loved him?). I just allow myself to miss him....which I do every day. And, I still cry over his loss...just not as much.

In my experience, the most you can do is take care of yourself. Talking helps....to a professional, in a support group, to special friends. Try not to bottle it up. It just hurts more.

Remember that you are loved, as was your brother. I try to honor my brother by living my life with joy and passion. He lit up my life, so I'm trying to shine for him.

We are all here for support, so stay in touch.

Please clean up the spam!! Hard to even come on this site, since all the crap is on here!

Jenn-

I am so sorry for your loss. All of us here know exactly how you feel.
You will never get over it, but it will get easier to cope as time passes. Even years later, we all have our bad days still; don't beat yourself up over getting upset in public, it is perfectly normal, and has most likely happened to all of us here. I know it definitely happened to me on multiple occasions, and I learned to feel normal about it.

It is a recent loss for you, and the beginning is very, very raw. Be gentle with yourself, and do what feels right for you for yourself and your grieving process.

We are all here to help and listen!

Jenn-

It has been 11 years since my brother took his life. You never get over it. But you do learn to cope. Even after all this time I still have bad days now and again. I miss him. I don't think that goes away. Those first couple of years are so hard because you are struggling to come to terms with so much. But slowly, you do begin to live your life again. Keep coming and writing... people are here who know and have been there. And they will help you through.

To Jen, My heart really goes out to you people who have just recently lost a loved one to suicide-Please know that you are not alone-my brother took his life in 2010- I often describe it as it hurting to even breath-Please hear me when I say that it will get better after the fog is lifted-you will drive yourself crazy just wondering why your loved one did such a thing-I often wondered if my brother even really loved us, but you know what?, he did, his pain was just to much for him to live in and we as his family had to pay for it-as mothers day approches a whole lot of emotions hit me, thinking of my own mother and what she must be thinking-all of us are not alone and please keep posting, it really helps!! Susan

Dear Jenn, On May 13th it will be 2 years since my brother took his life. Do you ever get over it? No you get through it. Not a day doesn't go by that I don't think of him. Like your brother he was funny, happy, easy going, there for everyone, but something happened and I will never know why. One day I will see him again in Heaven, I believe in God and that my brother is with Him and that he knows what he did and that he has regrets and is missing so many wonderful moments. But he also has peace now and free from whatever he felt he could not overcome. Keep breathing and taking one day at a time. My heart still aches but the wound of my brother's suicide has scarred over but will always be tender. God Bless!

It's been three months today since my younger brother died by suicide. It's impossible to believe that it has been 3 months. Some days I still don't feel like it is real -it feels like someone else's life or a bad dream. Other days - it's hard to breathe becasue I know it is true. My mother and I are finally starting to talk about it a little - I'm grateful for that. I appreciate everyone's openness and honesty - it has been a relief to see that other siblings have the same difficulties that I do. I don't feel like such an outcast when I read your notes and responses.

Thanks - Kryss

Hello everyone. i recently lost my brother to suicide in March of this year. He was only 34 .Its been the hardest thing ive ever had to go through in my entire life. As they say there are many different stages to the grieving cycle and i believe now it has hit me that he is really gone and ill never get to hear his voice ever again. This whole thing came as a shock to all of us. My brother had always been a happy, easy going person, so when he decided to take his life no one could understand why. Im sure ill be questioning this for the rest of life. For now i am overwhelmed with sadness, i cry alot, sometimes i cant even stop myself from crying in public. Ive been extremely depressed :( Does it ever get any better? What have you guys done to cope?

Clay,

I am so happy for you and so proud of you! You have been true to yourself through this unimaginable journey. You have openly shared here to help others and I have been often been nurtured by your posts. You truly show that we can not only survive the suicide of our sibling, but we can come to thrive again.

All the best on your upcoming wedding!

Clay, congratulations on your upcoming marriage-- I'm really happy for you. I want you to know that I always look forward to your posts-- thank you for all you write here. :)